London to Freetown

there are lots of very good things about living in the dutch lands

- they make some seriously good biscuits, they are called stroopwaffles: they are delicious and very fattening.

- they greet each other with three not two kisses . Initially  this is tough for a brit like me, more of a handshake person but getting used to it.   You can be caught off guard by the third kiss: avoid this it can lead to awkward and embarrassing moments for them and for you.

- people dont mind my constant phrase of, ’sorry I don’t speak dutch’  and mostly speak english. 

 ‘ anyone reading the news over the past couple of years will have been aware of the tightening of immigration regulations brought about by the former minister for immigration Rita Verdank. Since 2004 these changes have been sweeping and far reaching, changing the system to reflect a sleeker and meaner attitude to immigration’( EXPAT welcome pack and guide to living in the Netherlands)

I am in the immigration building. They are not particularly friendly here.  At this juncture I would not be that sad to be deported from the Netherlands but; ,duty, work  calls and here I am to register myself with the Immigration people.

I am sitting in a suitably gloomy waiting room wondering and waiting along with the other suitably gloomy and anxious looking persons. I wonder what has brought them to the Hague.

A bit like a  Sainsburys deli counter but less friendly and no food at the end of it all  my number eventually comes up.  I am buzzed in to see suitably gloomy and miserable  and unhelpful person.  She has at least made an effort for someone - looks like she stepped out of a bollywood movie, she  should step her unhelpful miserable self back into it. The netherlands likes the forms: the right ones, my birth certificate is not properly certificated.  If its this difficult to move to the Hague perhaps it should review its decision to be the, ‘international city of peace and justice’ .

The best cities in the world are the most multi cultural cities.  I am sure I will soon discover the many delights of Den Hague but in the meantime here, to be frank, I think that they should think about employing immigration officials who can smile and be that bit more grateful for those of us moving to this place. 

When I run immigration in the UK :

Once people have passed the niceness test( the finer details of this accurate and impartial test are available on request)they will be welcomed by tea and cakes provided by the womens institute or some nice friendly britishers.

  Its very stressful moving to a new place, away from home and loved ones: people should be made to feel welcome.   I’ve moved without having to flee anything other than an overdraft- I imagine how tough and overwhelming  it is for other immigrants moving to the Netherlands or the UK.

After a whirl wind time in Nepal working for a rather large organisation that didn’t like bloggers i find myself in the Hague in the Netherlands aka not Holland, which is how some will know it.

Unfortunately for me I don’t like ; the colour orange, the rain, flat terrain, stringy cheese, riding a bicycle, bicycle lanes or clogs.  This might be a problem.  But surely there are lots of other wonderful delights to the Hague.